How did you do? Was it a bit scary to truthfully consider these questions and honestly answer them? Even if it was just you and your device you told taking a good look at how we’re REALLY doing can be hard and painful. However if we’re honest and acknowledge some things that need to change for us, we can consider that first step.
So now I’ll play Devil’s Advocate, as the saying goes. Here’s the kicker that keeps many of us stuck: if I make some changes and show myself more love, doesn’t that make me selfish? I’m here to say, no. Definitely, no. I believe the insane pace of our culture skews our view of what is true. Only out of our abundance can we love others well. If we come up short, we don’t have much (if anything) to give to others. This gets to that ‘kind’ question. I think if we’re not kind to others, it’s an indicator that we’re not being kind to ourselves. It’s not a character flaw, but a warning. If we are living with a deficit in our needs, we’re not happy about it. Even if it’s deep, deep down, we know. So what shows up then to to other people: anger, irritation, frustration, impatience. Ewwww, not a good list.
So what’s the first step? With today being about love, I would ask you to think about showing yourself love. There are many ways to do this. Exercise, sleeping more, eating your veggies….the usual list we hear. But I have another often overlooked idea. One way would be to free up some of your brain space. What I mean by that is when you declutter your space, you actually declutter your mind. The fog lifts. You have more mental clarity. You are motivated to tackle other challenges. By tackling that nagging disorganized desk where you can’t find your important papers, you reduce your stress. By managing your time differently you can be on time. By creating systems in your home to you can change from feeling perpetually behind and overwhelmed to confident and calm. Who would have thought organizing can accomplish all that?
So maybe today what you need is not for someone else to show you love but for you to show yourself love. If you want to love yourself by finding things, being on time, having less stress, being more efficient, having more energy…..just to name a few, then you’ve come to the right place.
If I asked ten people who they loved, I bet they could rattle off a list of at least 5 people pretty quickly. But if I ask the question, do you love yourself? I bet I would get a thoughtful pause. Hmmmm…Do I love myself? How would I know? What things in my life indicate that I do (or don’t)?
Here are some questions we can ask ourselves to get an idea of if we are loving ourselves or not. (Pardon the generalization here – we are all different).